MySpace Cowboy: Spring Break Fiasco

These are the stories of a hapless MySpace junkie and his efforts to meet women. As told by the people who have to listen to his "bragging."

This time the MySpace Cowboy has managed to rustle up some trouble without getting on the internet. For the quick background story - the 30-something cowboy was dating a girl who was still in high school. Hold on ...it gets worse. The girl is related to him. They’re cousins -- they may be once or twice removed, but still -- he’s a cousinfucka.

Of course there was some ugliness, and it ended, but the MSC wanted to “remain friends.” Anyway, in conversation with some other friends, MSC brought up that Cousin Jailbait had invited him on her spring break trip. --Yeah right, more like he invited himself.-- Now MSC’s latest dilemma has to do with where he’s going to stay during this spring break trip. Apparently, Cousin Jailbait hasn’t made accomodations for him AND one of her friends hates him. --Probably because of the COUSIN THING, ya think?

So the Cowboy is all stressed out because he’s got nowhere to stay and can’t get any love from Cousin Jailbait (seriously, there’s a story about a phone conversation between the two of them where he threw out the “I love you” bomb and she refused to reciprocate), and he’s whining to his friends how his “ex” is being wishy-washy about the whole thing. --Dude! We know she’s your cousin! But you just keep living a lie.

Here's his attitude towards the situation, “...if she doesn’t straighten this out, that’s it. I’ll wash my hands of her and be done.”

NOBODY was buying that steaming pile. He also had an answer for every question:

But Cowboy, it’ll probably be her last spring break with her friends before she goes off for school. “Most of her friends are older and they love me.”

Nobody loves you, Cowboy. What about her boyfriend? “Her boyfriend is real cool with me.”

Seriously, dude, boyfriends are NOT cool with that shit. Who wants the “ex” hanging around? Especially if it’s her COUSIN?

(I should probably include right here that Cousin Jailbait’s current boyfriend is 26. --but at least they’re not related.)

Well if you insist on going to spring break, why can’t you find your own place to stay? “Oh I could find a place to stay myself. Not a problem. I just feel like that shouldn’t be my job when she invited me and made arrangements for everyone else. I dont like being treated differently than her other friends.”

So she made arrangements for everyone else but you, and you can’t understand why you’re being treated differently? That’s it. I’m outta here...(brain flies out of head accompanied by slide whistle sound effect).

Finally the Spring Break Fiasco ended with the Cowboy staying home, BUT that doesn’t mean the story’s over. It actually gets more intriguing. I’ll have to save that for the next installment of the MySpace Cowboy.