MySpace Cowboy: An Introduction

These are the stories of a hapless MySpace junkie and his efforts to meet women. As told by the people who have to listen to his "bragging."

I’ve decided to add a recurring feature to the blog. These will be the stories of the MySpace Cowboy. We all know someone like this — a guy using internet social gathering places like Friendster, Everyone’s Connected, or MySpace to meet women. There’s nothing wrong with meeting new friends – but the MySpace Cowboy roams the range, lassoing in the profiles of all the cute phillies he wants to hogtie. Or, to put that in a non-rodeo vernacular -- he stalks girls on the internet.

And by “girls,” I mean in the 19-22 age range. And what’s the MSC’s age, you ask? He’s in his 30s. Not quite old enough to be a dirty old man, but old enough to know better. I should probably add that these girls aren’t exactly that smart, either. When a guy 10 years older than you likes Jojo’s music as much as you do, ...alarms better be going off in your head.

The Cowboy’s latest adventure had him driving over an hour and a half to meet a 20-year old at her mall job. I’d feel sorry for him, but his attitude really makes it hard. “God must love me, they’re falling right into my lap,” was how MSC felt about meeting up with this girl during her 15 minute break.

When I first heard this, I was outraged, “He travelled almost two hours to meet a girl for 15 minutes???” But no worries, it turned out he got his money’s worth – he loitered in her store pretending to be a customer for the rest of her shift. The bad news was (actually, this is ALL bad news, isn’t it?) she worked at a girlie shop. And that’s the end of the story.

No, really. Her shift ended and then he drove all the way back home. But apparently our deluded zero was under the impression everything went well. He said she seemed to be impressed by his pop references to the O.C. -- really? What about Veronica Mars? At least she solves mysteries. Maybe she can get to the bottom of what kind of spin-doctoring filter MySpace Cowboy has got in his brain.