MySpace Cowboy: Fat and Needles

These are the stories of a hapless MySpace junkie and his efforts to meet women. As told by the people who have to listen to his "bragging."

When last we saw the MySpace Cowboy, he was attempting to worm his way into Cousin Jailbait's spring break get-away. To continue that story -- he didn't go. So CJ and her friends were free to enjoy some fun in the sun without the creepy older guy who wanted to get them drunk.

Meanwhile, back at home, Mama Jailbait found out that CJ's current boyfriend was 26 years old. That couldn't be a very good development.

And it wasn't. Outraged, Mama Jailbait called CJ and basically told her she was kicking her out of the house and pulling her out of private school. In a panic, Cousin Jailbait decided to call... the MySpace Cowboy??? If you're an underage teen, the last person you should be calling for help is the Master of Ulterior Motives.

Obviously "worried" by his cousin/ex-girlfriend's predicament - the Cowboy quickly made plans to travel to Cousin Jailbait's hometown to ...uh... to ...ummm... to talk to the mother? Nope. To offer support as Cousin Jailbait talks to her mother herself? Nope. To hopefully bring Cousin Jailbait back to live with him? You betcha.

Seriously. What kind of letch is this guy? His "cover" was that he was going to go to her hometown to help enroll her in public school -- I don't know if that's necessary or even legal, and his other plan was to point out how her current boyfriend isn't any good for her. Then, with Cousin Jailbait not being able to go home, the MSC would move her into his place -- effectively becoming Daddy Cousinfucka.

One of the good things about the MySpace Cowboy's plans is that they really never come to fruition. This time was no different. Cousin Jailbait moved in with her boyfriend and the MSC stayed home with no one to help him hang his harajuku girl posters.

So you're wondering about the "Fat and Needles" promised in the title? The Cowboy had bragged complained the other day about how sore he was. Without being asked about it, he volunteered the info that he "had his first non-surgical liposuction procedure... called mesotherapy."

Mesotherapy uses hundreds of tiny needles to inject a fat-eating fluid into the targeted area. Then the fluid goes to work and turns unwanted fat into waste.

Still no confirmation as to whether MSC will be having the procedure done on his head.